For Non-Therapists

Your therapist, or your curiosity about couples therapy, may have led you to this website. Here are some pointers to get the most out of watching these videos.

These DVDs were created for therapists and, therefore, include answers to questions about technique.
The basic principles about being a couple and about our basic humanness are largely in the first hour. I suggest watching the full first hour and then select questions that interest you from the list of interview questions.

These sessions are role-played by therapists using couples they work with or a colleague’s couple. Other than being briefed about the couples’ dynamics and history the work was spontaneous. I, as therapist, was not briefed about either couple. So what you will see is an unscripted session.

The pace is often slow, giving the clients time to experience their feelings. Much is happening in the quiet that moves clients out of a sense of urgency and into deeper connection with themselves and their partner.

What you will be seeing is my style of working with a couple. All therapists have their own style and pacing.

What to watch for as you watch the demo sessions
As you watch you may want to notice:

  • What you feel as you watch
  • What dynamics you see between the couple that may be similar to or different from your relationship
  • Behaviors you see that are similar to or different from yours or your partner’s
  • What each person does to feel safe
  • What happens that is different when each person is able to be present with themself and then with their partner

I wish you and your partner well in your journey toward keeping it real.