“Keeping It Real” is the clearest and most immediately useful course on Couples Therapy that I have ever encountered. It is extremely practical, easy to understand, well organized, and thorough. In three DVD’s organized around 51 questions, Marla covers everything from how to begin in the initial session to how to deal with a wide variety of challenges that may come up during the course of the therapy. Marla starts with the basic premise that the goal of couple therapy is: “To get two people to be as real with each other as possible.” This simple definition, and the subsequent instruction on how to help the couple do this productively, immediately diminished my stress about doing Couple Therapy. Marla’s method helps the therapist avoid being drawn into being the couple’s “referee” or trying to solve the couple’s problems, two difficulties that I have encountered in the past. Marla demonstrates how to shift couples out of their usual stance of complaining and blaming to introspecting, getting in touch with their bodies, accessing internal support, and communicating with each other in a productive manner. She tackles common problems, such as what to do when a couple is stuck in an angry standoff. Marla builds on all of this by gradually introducing new therapeutic tools and demonstrating how to apply these skills in actual situations. Marla also models a nonjudgmental way of exploring and talking about the couple’s issues that couples can learn from her. I highly recommend this course to both beginners and experienced therapists who would like a refresher course or a new approach.
Elinor Greenberg, PhD, CGP. New York Institute for Gestalt Therapy, Associate Editor of the Gestalt Review, and the author of numerous articles on the diagnosis and treatment of Borderline, Narcissistic and Schizoid adaptations.
***
The field of couples therapy has been substantively enriched by Dr. Silverman’s teaching and demonstrations. The interview is alive, engaging, and of course real as she skillfully and passionately responds to the audience questions. The sessions that follow clearly demonstrate her approach that includes body awareness, investigation of core beliefs, and her compassionate and wise presence as she guides highly reactive and dysregulated couples through the process of relational repair to heartfelt connection. Students and seasoned clinicians alike looking for a non-pathologizing, non-polarizing and compassionate approach to couples therapy will find this gift of Silverman’s accumulated wisdom and experience an invaluable resource.
Susan McConnell, MA, CHT, Senior Trainer
Internal Family Systems Therapy
***
Marla’s work provides a great example of a couples therapist integrating IFS principles and techniques into an already established style. Through her own warmth and Self-led presence, she creates a safe container that allows each partner to connect to their protectors and exiles and to witness each other doing so, which leads to powerful healing of their relationship.
Richard Schwartz, PhD. Creator, Internal Family Systems model. Author of Internal Family Systems Therapy, and You Are The One You’ve Been Waiting For
***
When I sense that I am in the presence of a master, I relax and open myself to receive her wisdom. In this educational video, Marla presents her well-honed knowledge from a place of confidence, presence, and clarity. We could sense that she is personal and full of heart with each couple. She has distilled her years of experience into principles and guidelines that novice and seasoned therapists can benefit from. We walked away feeling enriched, inspired, and more confident sitting in our therapist chairs managing difficult interactions with couples.
Bonnie Weiss, LCSW, author of Freedom From Your Inner Critic
Jay Earley, PhD, author of Self Therapy: A Step-By-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness and Healing Your Inner Child Using IFS and The Pattern System
***
Master clinician & educator, Dr. Marla Silverman, demonstrates in this DVD her expertise, love of and affinity for working with couples. She shares her experience and knowledge as she demonstrates her style of ‘slowing down the action’ between two people in a gentle, supportive way. Dr. Silverman’s astute tracking of a couple’s interactions helps each partner ‘know’ themselves and the other more fully. She leads couples to a richer and more intimate place with each other culminating with each couple achieving their goal.
—Nancy Bristol, LCSW, Gestalt Training Associates, NJ.